Are you guilty of buying that hot red pair of heels even when you have a closet bursting at the seams? Or having an exquisite collection of ties even when have never worn one? By the end of the month, do you wonder where did all your money go and you wistfully wish to save the next time? Then you are a legit shopaholic, my friend.
But worry not, this ain’t another article about ‘why shopaholism is a psychological problem’ or ‘why you shouldn’t be a shopaholic’, instead, we totally understand that not buying that pretty black dress on sale is really really hard. And on the positive side, there’s no FOMO on sales and discounts. No judgments. But let’s talk about the predefined image of a shopaholic.
When the word ‘Shopaholic’ comes to your mind, what do you imagine? Probably, a person like Rebecca from ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ or a probably someone like Pooh from K3G but what if I told you there are many types of shopaholics too?
Let’s walk you through the types of shopaholics and find out which one are you:
1. “Bhaiyyaa, thoda rate aur kam karo na”
Who doesn’t like economic spending but this kind has a habit of bargaining at all places. Be it street shopping at Janpath or GK or be it a Forever 21 store, bargain shoppers are omnipresent. Even at Palika Bazaar, you guys!
Common terminologies used: “Meri friend ne toh xyz me lie tha, aap mujhe abc me kyun de rahe hain”
“Please kam kar lijiye. Students discount toh har jagah milta hai”
“Pichli dukaan me pqr ka de rahe the, aap itna kyun bhaiyaa”
2. Having a bad day? “Chal shopping pe chalte hain”
This kind needs a reason to shop. Although they won’t be omnipresent like the bargain shopper, this kind has their addas sorted. Exam stress shopping- GK, After exam relief – Dlf, Bad Breakup – Vasant Kunj, Bored – Janpath. #Sorted
Common terminologies used: “yaar I am not feeling well, can we go shop?”
“Listen! exams over on 21st, shall we plan where to go?”
“He was an asshole. I need to get over him. Are you free? Let’s go shopping please”
3. “Ugh! Who shops from Forever 21? So down market”
They are the Maya Sarabhai of the shopping world and are only friends with Jimmy Choo, Louis Vuitton, Zara, and pure organic Khadi places (Fab India, maybe?).
Common terminologies used: “She said she bought her gown from Meena Bazaar” (bursts into laughter)
“I support small Indian handlooms, which is why I wear only organic Khadi”
4. Liar Liar! Pants on Fire!
This is important. Now one one hand there are Maya Sarabhais who have a knack for only branded products, but there is another, a very interesting category of – the liars. Again, they are boastful of branded products but the only difference is they do not really buy it.
This kind goes only to Sarojni, Lajpat, Chandni Chowk but talks only about Forever 21, Lavie, Zara and so on.
Common terminologies used: “Accha tera Lajpat ka hai, me toh sirf Vasant Kunj se shopping karti hun”
“This pair of heels is from Lavie” (Forgets Lavie doesn’t make heels, ends up poker face)
5. “Chalo kuch kha lete hain”
Now they are the binge eaters. If they are going to shop, they make sure they are packed first. This kind likes its shopping easy, and it’s chicken nugget hot.
Common terminologies used: “Let’s take a break, I’m hungry”
“I have heard GK has some great Italian places too”
6. SALE *Gasps*
These are seasonal shoppers. They come out from hibernation only when it’s Sale season. They hawk for sale and discount coupons and end up getting pretty great deals.
Common terminologies used: “12 ko Zara pe sale hai, ready rahiyo okay? 11 am sharp”
“I reported a minor glitch in the product, ended up getting 5000 points in my shopping card. Am I awesome or am I awesome”
7. “The world is ONLINE”
When you are socially awkward or probably a sloth wanting to avoid human contact, then you are identified as an online shopper.
Common terminologies used: None
Inner monologues, maybe: God Bless Amazon *sleeps for another 6 hours*
What kind of shopaholic are you? Tell us in the comments section below