Arranged marriages are a pain. What isn’t really, but they can prove to be really, REALLY harrowing. With everyone wanting the best, most suitable groom or bride for their beloved child, parents get very selective and control freak-ish. So, more often than not, it seems all that people do while finding their “soulmate” is check out people, have/offer free food depending on who’s visiting whom, and then swipe left ’cause “Nobody can ever be good enough for my baccha.” You would think Indian matrimony websites would make that problem easier, but apparently, that’s no good either.
People on Quora held a discussion about their experiences with arranged marriages through matrimonial sites and let us tell you, it looks like the exact opposite of a Sooraj Barjatya movie. There are no super welcoming families, no perfect matches at the first go and unfortunately, no happily-forever-afters.
Here are a few experiences people had while trying to get hitched through matrimonial sites and it did not go as planned:
1. The family obsessed with caste
This one people should just expect while stepping into the game. There will always be that one family that will reject you, no matter how perfect a fit you are, because you are the wrong caste.
2. “What I am looking for?”- A friggin’ green card
Another common feature on Indian matrimonial sites are the people seeking for an NRI partner, to fulfil their dreams of getting settled abroad.
3. The fake profile
When you find the perfect match on some X matrimony website, trust that it is a fake profile. A fake photo, or perhaps a photo with a LOT of Photoshop and of course, a fake description. “Traveller | Intelligent | Good-Looking | Adventurous…” Like, bro, please. We know what’s up.
4. Way too many demands – bride/groom edition
Excuse me, I saw your ad. You’re seeking for a highly educated, well-settled, rich, good-looking, sanskari groom who doesn’t have any vices?
5. Way too many demands – parents edition
It’s not just the young lot that has conditions. People often even place forward demands they have regarding their living situation after marriage. Some brides want their prospective hubbies to kick out their parents while some grooms expect their wives to cut ties with their parents.
6. Bride = Slave?
There’s always that one ad looking for a fair bride who has a degree, is very sophisticated, and knows how to cook, clean, satisfy her husband, etc. Er, would you rather be interested in a robot?
7. Looking for a “down to earth and close-knit family”
What is this golden criterion that people use to judge families by? Seriously, do you not know that life is not a Bollywood movie?
8. The ones looking for a self-esteem boost
There’s always that one profile that is always looking for matches. And when they do get matched, they do the best thing of all- NOTHING! It’s like all they want is to constantly keep checking if they still have viable options.
9. Profession obsessed
This is very much like the caste system, only that nobody talks about it. Doctors looking for doctors. MBAs looking for MBAs. Engineers looking for… Well, everyone! Anyway, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH PROFESSIONS? Are you worried the person might not earn enough? Are you worried the bride and groom won’t have much in common? Or do you just wanna drag around your son/daughter-in-law with the “reputable” job like a trophy?
10. The one with the over-bearing parents
Often the case with brides to avoid creepy males, it is the parents who manage the bride’s profile (and every move). They refuse to hand out her phone numbers and also don’t arrange for private meetings. The parents will hand-pick a groom for such brides, who are mostly then forced into marriage.
11. Dowry? Isn’t that illegal?
Why are there still people blatantly asking for a dowry on a matrimonial website? Can’t we look into this? Hello?
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