Breaking up from your partner can be painful but being ghosted is just plain miserable. For those of you who do not know what that means, ‘ghosting’ is when your significant other disappears or cuts off all contact with you without any notice or previous indication of doing so. Like we said, just a downright miserable thing to do. It doesn’t matter, whether you were with someone for a month, a year or for several years, being abandoned by someone you love is heartbreaking. But the thought of someone leaving from your life one fine day, just like that, without an explanation can leave you totally unprepared.
Something like that happened with a woman, whose live-in partner left her without even offering a reason. The guy in question posted a request for ‘help’ on online blog ‘Ask A Manager’ which deals with all sort of problems at professional spaces.
After ‘ghosting’ his girlfriend a decade back, guy asked the forum’s online counsellor how to deal with the situation of his ex coming back into his life as his boss. What is truly amazing however, is that even after all this while (during which we assume he did a fair bit of adulting and growing up) – the guy still seems to be under the impression that it is he who is being ‘victimised’.
The realisation that what he did to her 10 years ago was a truly horrible, wretched thing to do, seems more concerned about ‘how to deal with the mess’, so that he doesn’t have to change his job again. LOL. Also, wow.
Rewind 10 years ago. Here’s what happened according to the anonymous post on AAM:
“I have been an expat since graduating and have been moving a lot. More than a decade ago, when I was still young, I was in a relationship with a woman, Sylvia, in a country where we both lived. Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends.
Anyhow, fast forward to now. I now work as a math teacher in an international school. I have been in other relationships since, so Sylvia is a sort of forgotten history. Sadly, till now. This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer. The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia.”
Sensitive guy, right? His concern basically is, this: he did a bad thing, the woman in question is now his boss, hopes this won’t mean she will fire him. Aaaaw. Such an adult. The guy doesn’t show an inch of remorse at what he put someone, he ‘apparently’ loved at some point in his life, through.
But wait, there’s more. Ghosting is when you disappear on someone you are dating. So what happens when that someone turns out to be your live-in partner?
“We were together for three years and lived together for two of those years. I know that ghosting is not a way to end the relationship but I cannot do much about it now. I appreciate the trouble you are taking with getting back to me.”
Ummm.. it’s called abandonment.
He ends his question with something like “I gathered from the comments that readers usually have a go on people like me for “bad behavior” but I am really looking for constructive comments how to deal with the situation.” Clearly, putting ‘bad behaviour’ in double inverted commas hints that it is people who think so, not him. Apparently, in his eyes, he was a poor young guy who was not ready to settle down (mind you, not young enough to be in a live-in relationship).
Here are some of the comments on the blog post:
Do let us know in the comments section what do you think about this situation. Find the entire thread here.