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Doritos to launch ‘women-friendly’ chips and we are letting out ladylike yelps of joy

Doritos, thanks for letting us know that we have been eating chips meant for men all this while

Even as women enjoy the freedom of working with men and climb to the top of corporate ladders, make waves in newsrooms and boardrooms, it seems a far more basic concern has missed our notice for all these years. What happens when these women CEOs, actors, drivers, badminton players, cricketers, teachers, nurses, editors etc etc etc crave for a packet of chips to satisfy their hunger pangs? Have we ever spared a thought about the daily ignominies these women suffer at home and and at workplace just for wanting to eat a packet of chips?

Do we really expect these women, who are already working under difficult circumstances  — having their skin tanned while travelling to work, and their perfectly manicured finger tips stressed while typing on keyboards –to eat out of a regular packet of chip?

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In fact, a path breaking market research conducted by Food and drinks giant PepsiCo — which owns Doritos reaffirmed these widely-held notions. The survey found that women don’t like to lick their fingers in public and that they don’t like making noises while eating. Anyway, ‘propah’ women don’t make noise. Not while eating, not against sexual harassment, not against powerful men. Well, they can continue to make those fake orgasm sounds, though.

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Now, Doritos has taken it upon themselves to solve this utterly complex women’s problem. It’s prepping to launch a bunch of women-friendly eatables.

Global chief exec Indra Nooyi gave us some excellent insights into the research:

“You watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. And they don’t lick their fingers. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public.” (Source: Sun)

One wonders, if these women also said that they don’t like being paid less than their male counterpart. But then that’s a secondary concern. After all, all we need to do is pick one of those well paid men and marry them. And Doritos will only make this entire process so much easier. Now, we really don’t have to go hungry on a date.

And the list of goodies doesn’t end there. Apparently, the product packet will be designed in a way that would fit in women’s handbags. Woof! Doritos, you are god-sent. After stuffing our bags with all the anti-ageing, skin whitening products, we really don’t have much space left for eatables in our bags. Having a product designed to fit into the messy world of a lady’s handbag is life-saving.

Doritos has restored our faith in this society’s willingness to give priority to women’s needs.  If this doesn’t convince feminists that they are living in the most women-friendly age, then god knows what will.

Image source: Screenshot/Youtube