US President Donald Trump would celebrate his 71st birthday today. In India, a right wing fringe group named Hindu Sena is also celebrating Trump’s birthday and describing him as ‘saviour of humanity’. Trump’s journey from being a rookie candidate to becoming US president and thereafter, has been marred with controversies. Be it his policies, rants on Twitter or his tumultuous relationship with media, he always manages to stay in news. Since Prime Minister Narendra Modi will soon be visiting Washington, We can definitely gift US president a few gifts from India that he may find useful.
1) Ambuja cement: “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively.” Building Mexico wall is one of Trump’s priorities. Perhaps this cement will help Trump build the Mexico wall and the Mexican intruders could not breach it . (Remember: Bhaiya ye deewwar tutie kyon nahin. Tutegi kaise Ambuja cement se jo bani hai).
2) A CD of Sonam Kapoor’s Mausam: The US President recently walked out of Paris climate deal saying it is not in interest of America and alleged that countries like India and China will benefit from this. Trump believes ‘in clear air, clean water, a clean environment’ but not in climate change.
Perhaps a CD of Shahid Kapoor’s Mausam would make him rethink as there is something more dangerous than global warming.
3) Divya Medha Vati tablets: Given his knack of forgetting his own word, this product from baba Ramdev’s start up would come in handy for him. “It is useful for the patients with memory loss caused due to advancing age or the degenerative diseases like dementia.It also helps in increasing their intelligence.” says the website prescribing this herbal medicine.
And of course he can take quick lesson from Baba Ramdev
4) One night at call centre: This classic by ‘Modern Indian Shakespeare’ Chetan Bhagat on the struggle and challenges faced by call centre workers will surely melt the heart of Trump and make him rethink his outsourcing policy. Trump can also refer to other works of IITian author to know Indian techies can mint money in India also.
5) Dhai kilo ka Haath :Trump’s insecurities about his ‘short’ hand are a public knowledge. During a public debate last year, Trump said, “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.” India has a solution for Trump, he can borrow Sunny Paaji’s (Dhai kilo ka Haath) or even Kannon ka Haath for obvious reasons.
6) A debate with Arnab Goswami: It would definitely be a clash of titans when two people hell-bent on making their respective countries great again would lock horns. Just imagine Arnab grilling Trump with his signature ‘Nation wants to know’ phrase and Trump saying ‘which one’.
7) Zabaan Sambhaal Ke: This Pankaj Kapoor sitcom would be of great help for US president, only if he realises how his tweets and policies easily spark controversies. A good teacher of the language and little bit of old Indian Tehzeeb is what the US president really needs.