Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it’s high time we banned the V-day celebrations in India. It’s not like the couples aren’t big given a hard time by the moral policing, Hindu Mahasabha and padosi waali aunties. It’s just the V-day celebrations in India are marked by fear-the fear of being caught kissing in public, being stoned to death if you’re a same sex couple and so on. Have a look at some of the many reasons why Valentine’s Day should be banned in India:
1.If you do excessive PDA on V-day, chances are that Hindu Mahasabha or one of the extreme right wing groups will get you married on the spot.
2.If you decide not to do PDA and display affection behind the closed doors of the hotel room, chances are you might be withheld by the police. Hail moral policing!
3.You know what’s worse than a Shiv Sena worker catching you doing PDA and getting you married against your will? It’s padosi waali aunty catching you red-handed doing your non-sanskaari (haww-haaye) act in public.
4.What’s next? Your pados waali aunty tells your mom about your non-sanskaari act and your parents disown you. You cry a little as they shut the door on your face..
5.You decide to get married without your family’s support. All is going fine till you realize inter-caste marriages are frowned upon in the Indian society.
6.Also, if you’re a manglik, you get to marry a tree! You see how environmental-friendly can Indian traditions be?
7. Let alone manglik-dosh or inter-caste marriage, if you and your loved one belong to different religions, you’ll be stoned to death!
8.The deadliest combination being a Hindu-Muslim wedding. And if you happen to marry someone from Pakistan, either of you will get free abuses depending on which side of the border you’re on.
9. That’s not all! Inter-caste and inter-religion marriages can get you arrested too! So in addition to getting a free lathi-charge, you also get a few months in jail for free.
10.And if you’re a same-sex couple, let alone marriage, your walk out of the closet alone might get you killed.
All in all, loving someone in India isn’t easy. Given the high-risk factors involved, it’s best that Valentine’s Day is banned.