The great Indian family is a lot of things, but boring isn’t one of them. As they say, there are three types of people – negative, positive and ‘relatives’. Relatives are a big part of an Indian family. Some you love to death, while others you can’t stand. Some irritating, some goofy, some downright weird. Whether you like it or not, they are the ones who bring life to family gatherings, shaadis, naach-gaana, and what not.
Whether it’s your NRI cousin, the super cool uncle, or the children loving bua these are types of relatives which we all have:
1. The Social Media Addict:
“Beta mene apko friend request bejhi thi, aapne accept nahi ki abhi tak” is probably their favourite sentence. They comment on all your posts, they like all your photos (even the ones you posted back in 2008) and love posting the world’s most embarrassing forwards on your wall.
We are all careful around this kind of relative because you never know when they ask you about the person with you profile picture in front of your parents or just make you read his WhatsApp jokes for ages.
2. The Critic
Critiquing is an art which this kind is not aware of! They just pass offensive comments and try to act like it’s a joke. They happily body shame, are racist without even understanding it’s not okay to be obsessed with looks.
3. The NRI cousin
You love India, we get it. But please let’s not overdo, shall we? A vacation to India for them means gulping down as much food they can, learn difficult Hindi words, and wear heavy Indian dresses all the time.
4. Brace Yourself for the Food Attack
There is one chachi/bua/naani who will feed you even when you are on the verge of exploding. And dare you use the word ‘dieting’ because hell will break loose, my friend.
Just gulp down what they offer and as much as they offer because no desi ghee is more desi ghee, no amount of jalebis is too much sugar. They will feed you a ‘proper meal’ – starters, main course and dessert – the only difference is you’ll never know what was what.
5. I Got The Money In My Pocket
Now, this is what I call, Indian tradition done right! And bless these souls who still follow it. Between all the “areey nahi nahi rehne dijiye” and “arey beta lelo”, we all grew up.
You may not want to acknowledge it, but you love it.
6. The Mushy Cousin
They are on phone all the time. You’ll find them sitting in a corner with their headphones on, blushing and whispering sweet nothings to a mysterious person.
This kind also excels at ruining all the fun. If you have a crazy night stay planned, nope! forget it. They will choose their sweethearts over you.
7. THAT ONE ANNOYING CHILD
Children are all cute and all, but once they are after your phone or laptop, follow you, observe you and snitch you out to your parents.
8. The One With The Shaadi Mania
“Areey iski shadi karwa dijiye jaldi bas, tabhi tension free honge”. Hang on! seriously? For starters, I am only 21 now and even you weren’t married at 21.
Plus, how is my married would reduce you so-called-stress? We hardly meet once a year!
9. The Adviser
I often wonder that talking about career choices is a form of entertainment for adults. We have all been there, “Isko science dilwana. Bahut scope hai” or “Beta Engineer ke baad MBA is a must”.
Seriously, who are you? A legit career counsellor? Yes, I know Fine Arts has no scope but what if I ain’t looking for one?
How many of these ‘types’ have you met IRL? Tell us in the comments section below.