Principal sends student home for 'dress code violation', angry mom says 'take my kid shopping'

This angry mother couldn't tolerate it anymore when her daughter was sent back home from her school for dress code violations, read her open letter

This angry mother couldn’t tolerate it anymore when her daughter was sent notes from her school for dress code violations. As if sending girls home for tight shirts, short skirts, and more recently yoga pants, wasn’t enough. Catherine Guggenheim Pearlman is a parenting expert, the founder of The Family Coach and appears to have some experience in the field. She wrote the letter after her daughter was sent home with a note for the second day in a row. The school’s concern was her “inappropriate” shorts that she had worn to school. Catherine then went on to share the picture of her daughter’s supposedly offending shorts on social media which had appeared to violate the school’s clothing policy because they stopped short of the child’s fingertips.


The social worker originally from Long Island, New York, had initially published her letter on the community blog by NBC News’ TODAY Parenting Team. This mother’s angry rant has already received over 400 upvotes and gained many likes and shares from other websites. When her 13-year-old daughter was reprimanded for the second time for wearing shorts, Catherine was not having any of this and so she decided to address the issue at hand.


In an open letter to’s parenting forum, Catherine went ahead to vent out her grievance with her ranting about the many requirements that the school’s principal should keep in mind while shopping for her daughter. The mother was furious with the idea that the note included how her daughter could probably be a distraction for boys. The idea that boys are helpless and cannot evade temptation at any cost is one which does not need to be fed into an adolescent’s brain.

The note titled, ‘Invitation for Principal to Take My Daughter Shopping After Dress Code Violation‘ she mentioned the many levels at which such schooling of the dress code was wrong and how her daughter could probably get affected by this repeated reminder of objectification.



Dear Middle School Principal:

Thank you for sending a note home for the second day in a row to say my daughter was dressed inappropriately for school. I’d like to offer an additional thank you for forcing her to change into large mesh shorts that have been worn by only god knows who and potentially never washed.

To reward you for treating my daughter with such concern, I am cordially inviting you to take my daughter shopping.

Here are the specifications you have to work with. I wish you loads of luck.

She is 5’7” and 13 years old. Built more like her father, she has exceptionally long legs and arms.

She doesn’t like anything pink or purple or frilly.

She won’t wear pants because she gets overheated easily. Trust me I’ve seen this. It will cause a scene in the school yard.

She absolutely will not wear a dress either.

No item of clothing can have a logo visible because to her that’s not cool. She will however, wear any type of superhero, Green Day or USFL T-shirt if you can find them. You might be able to try for an occasional Beatles reference but that’s touch and go.

Now, don’t forget that you will have to find something in the stores that also meets with your dress code requirements. Here are the tricky areas that are most difficult to avoid. As per your policy she cannot wear tank tops. Shorts and skirts must not extend to the end of the fingertips (This is a toughie.)

So, if I were you (and I’m glad I’m not) I’d focus on the shorts first. She has very long fingers which seems to make finding shorts that won’t get her sent to the principal’s office impossible (On the bright side the piano teacher says those fingers are an asset.). I’d schedule a few afternoons and weekends for this endeavor. I can tell you from experience that just heading to the mall, Target and the outlets won’t cut it. Not much for her there. I’ve already checked.

One last point: please try to stay within a reasonable budget. We can’t spend a fortune on her wardrobe. She is still growing after all.

I thank you endlessly for taking on this chore. What a relief for me.

P.S.: I forgot to thank you for making it clear to my daughter that her body is somehow a distraction, either to herself or to the boys. I thought she might have missed the message earlier in the year when the gym teacher told her she couldn’t wear yoga pants because the boys aren’t able to control themselves. I appreciate how hard you are working to drive the point home.

In an attempt to draw attention to the absurd ways in which girls are strictly dress coded at her daughter’s school, she signed the note ‘Sincerely, Sick Of The Dress Code Mom.’ Catherine’s rage filled her social media accounts as she decided merely writing the open letter won’t do and she began to spread the word. Other mothers who had perhaps had similar experiences were quick to react to her post with support.


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