Discussing periods is like opening doors to chamber of secrets whose knowledge only females are bestowed with and the lady wisdom is protected and passed from generation to generation. The word menstruation or ‘periods’ is often shushed by the society as if talking about it will invite the Dark Lord to Avada Kedavra our butts to oblivion. Let’s stop hushing it up and talk about the scary, raging hormones, the mind numbing cramps can really take a toll on your health and especially scarring your thought process.
So here we bring you 11 bizarre thoughts that must have popped in your hear during nature’s monthly gift to you:
1) BAZINGA B*TCHES!!
Just when you are all set to slay at the pool party tomorrow or going for a trip with your skinny pants in mind, your monthly crimson visitor knocks at your door unexpected and BAZINGAA!! Ugh! Why God? Why me? Why now?
2) NO! NOT MY FAVOURITES AGAIN!
Buying an exotic pair of lingerie for yourself is the best form of #SelfLove but nope! it ain’t gonna last forever. No matter how many period panties you own, that one pretty survivor is gonna get martyred today.
“Maybe I should start tracking down my dates”, that is one thought that has crossed your mind hundred times. Especially, when you girl pals talk about these amazing period tracker apps but #LazyAF
4) I AM GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah, so what? F*ck calories. Food is amazing. And I am gonna gorge on that pizza forever. Bring on more food, please?
5) NO CHOCOLATE IS ENOUGH CHOCOLATE
Thank goodness for chocolates. Periods are the times when you bless the creators of cocoa and finally understand the difference between 90% cacao-rich and milk chocolates.
That one cup of hot chocolate is all the sunshine you need in your life. The aroma of hot cocoa soothes your raged glands telling you it’s gonna be alright, you have fought this battle before!! *Oh, the Love!!*
6) LIES, LIES, LIES!!
While you are binging on chick flicks that one period advert can ruin your mood instantaneously. No expensive pads can make me all jumpy and hyperactive during my periods. Enough said!
P.S. who wears white pants on periods?
Imagine waking up in the morning, already running late for work and ding dong! Who’s there? Lord of Death. All hell breaks loose when you have to go to work on your periods pretending that you are fine (because, periods are normal?) but burning inside.
Ugh! We demand legit period holidays.
8) NO UTERUS, NO OPINION!
“Are you sure you wanna eat this?”, “Are you sure you wanna cuddle right now?”, YES! I’M Sure. And if you are going to ask me again you are probably going to die. Stop with your opinion, y’all.
9) THANK GOD!
Well, probably for once in your life you must be really grateful for your periods and that is when you do not want to be hit with…wait for it…pregnancy. *Phew* Close enough this time! *winks*
10) WHAT’S WITH THE EGG?
This monthly shots of pain only so that one can reproduce in life? I mean, Is women a synonym for excruciating pain?
11) I BETTER HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES AFTER THIS
If I am going through so much pain all my life, at least I want good rewards. God, are you listening?
Have you experienced these bizarre thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below