It’s finally here. The equally anticipated and dreaded iPhone 8. We non-iPhone users dread the day a new iPhone launches. Why? Well, there are iPhone articles everywhere, iPhone fanboys jumping with excitement and staying up at night just to watch the ‘unveiling’ and the unveiling event is projected like the goddamn Oscars. Can we just calm the hell down? It’s a friggin’ phone!
Anyway, this year leaked information about the latest iPhone and people can’t stop talking raving about it already. The iPhone 8 drops tonight and seeing the excitement and alleged prices, we’re hoping the phones come with a fidget spinner on their backs.
Here are the first 9 things that come to our minds as non iPhone users:
#1 It’s literally the same
No, we don’t care if it’s iPhone 6, iPhone 7 or iPhone 8. Those of us who are not tech geeks, they’re all the same. Equally complicated and equally (for no good reason) expensive. iPhone users are already cut off from the real world cuz no bluetooth and no head phone jack. They’re literal party poopers.
#2 iPhone X??
What? They ran out of numbers?
#3 LMAO, remember that AIB video?
Wahi same sizes. Wahi same color. Kaale se bhi kaala black. AIB knows what’s up.
#4 No home button..umm wat?
Why don’t they remove the USB too? While they’re at it, lose the screen also, ya? Just give us a box and ask us to f**k off. Thx.
#5 Price. Okay.
The tentative price is around 1,000 USD. Which means by the time it reaches your hands, it’ll be somewhere around Rs 80,000. An executive at Apple manufacturer Foxconn has tweeted that the high-end device will “not be cheap”. NOT BE CHEAP? Listen up. For less than 80 grand I can book a round trip to Spain. I can get 3 high end smart phones. I can get a bike. Need I go on?
#6 Facial recognition. Wow whattey innovation
Apple users refuse to acknowledge the fact that Samsung already did this with Galaxy s8. Great. Woohoo! Way to go Apple – you literally introduced all the innovations in the market. *Slow claps*
Ya’ll expect me to pay 80 grand just so that I can a bunch of animated emojis to my friends who are probably just going to send me poop emojis? Seriously bro?
#8 SCREW THIS IT’S PAUL WALKER’S BIRTHDAY
HOW CAN YOU CARE ABOUT THE LAUNCH WHEN IT’S PAUL WALKER’S BIRTHDAY. WHY AREN’T WE PAYING TRIBUTES GODDAMMIITTT?
#8 Wireless charging. Okay..Why?
How does a wireless charger help you? Also, it isn’t new? Apart from having one less charging cable, there is no real utility to it. On the contrary, you can’t even use your phone conveniently whilst charging. Apple users will literally buy anything the brand sells them.
Come at me, Apple fanboys.