In an ideal world, all of us would like to rent a flat in any city in India without even meeting the landlord. In the real world though, you can’t even breathe without his approval.
If the tenant is married and /or living with his family, landlords treat them like they’re the best thing that have happened on the face of the planet. But if you’re a bachelor oh boy…
Most bachelors (if they manage to find a house at all) are lucky if their landlords live in some other city. 90% of the times, the landlords either live in the same house or a nearby house and these annoying, nosey, judgmental landlords have some amazing pre-conceived notions about bachelors. Here are 7 of them:
We do drugs, sell drugs, are drugs.
Basically, if you’re a bachelor, your life is based on Udta Punjab‘s script. If you don’t pick up the landlord’s calls, you’re doing drugs. If you’re not at home when the landlord visits, you’re out in some shady corner selling drugs to potheads.
Bachelors are anti-sanskaari
Landlords think that bachelors are on the planet with the sole purpose of spreading Satan’s word. If exposed to bhajans or idols, we’ll melt to the ground.
All we do is party
Since we obviously don’t have work, we just lounge around and party all day all night. We will play loud music till 6am, even though it’s perfectly okay for landlords to do jagratas till 3am.
No wait, all we do is have sex.
Here’s what a normal person’s brain looks like- WORK. PARTY. CHILHOOD MEMORIES. IMPORTANT STUFF. FEELINGS. BIRTHDAYS ETC.
Here’s what a bachelor’s brain looks like- SEX.SEX.SEX.SEX.SEX.SEX
We are a ‘bad influence’
If you have a kid, we’ll probably teach him how to smoke, drink and do drugs. That’s pretty much why we want to live in your house, to ruin your child’s future, not because we have a job or anything.
We’re always drunk
You know how we come back home from work all tired and sleepy? Yeah, we aren’t tired. We’re just drunk. We’re drunk and on drugs 24/7.
We hate anything that’s clean
Bachelors can’t STAND being in a clean room. If a bachelor enters a clean room, he/she will proceed to fling things about, like a monkey flings its feces, until the room is dirty.