7 savage comebacks for people who laugh at you for being single

As we single people enter any social gathering, we know someone will inevitably ask the question hated by all singletons: Why are you still single?

While it’s unbelievable that people think it’s okay to ask this question, there nonetheless will always be that one fufaji, cousin, coworker or friend who will come up to you at a party, ask you why you don’t have a ‘significant’ other and follow it up with “… but you’re soooo0 great.”

Meanwhile, we know being single is awesome. You can do whatever you want without having to announce it to your ‘significant other’. So, the next time someone pisses you off by asking you why you’re single, just respond with these brilliant comebacks:

1. Ain’t nobody got time for that

80% of your time in a relationship is spent eating pizzas and saying the word “baby” over and over.  The rest is wasted in figuring out where to eat. I’ve got better things to do.


2. I’ve got better things to do

I’m focusing on my career because it’s 2018 and that’s what people do now. Would you like some fries with that?


3. Why settle for one person when I can have five?

Life is all about variety, ain’t it? I don’t want to be tied down to one person right now, so yeah. Thanks for your concern though.


4. Relationships? Sorry I heard pizza.

Pizza won’t leave you, won’t hurt you, won’t cheat on you, won’t fight with you. Why don’t people just marry pizza instead?

5. Don’t you have better things to talk about?

Seriously, why don’t we talk about my job promotion instead? Or that new company I just started? Or the new plant I got for my apartment for God’s sake! Anything else.

6. If I wanted drama, I’d watch Bigg Boss!

I’d rather not have someone watching me 24/7, checking my texts and reminding me what to do. Isn’t that what Bigg Boss is for?

7. Because I WANT to be single. Period.

Last time I checked, I’m an independent person fully capable of functioning on my own. I don’t need a significant other, and I don’t owe you or anybody else an explanation. KThnxBye