Ah, Christmas. Perfect weather, festivities are in the air and that Christmas spirit. Perfect, isn’t it?
Among the hustle bustle, the trees and the carols, almost everyone pushes ‘buying gifts’ to the very last second. Since finding the best Christmas presents can be stressful at this festive time of year, we thought we’d make it easier for you… if your friends are a bunch of goofballs, that is. Here are seven gifts that are perfect for people who have a savage sense of humor.
PSA: If you actually buy this for someone who is expecting gifts like new phones or jewelry, don’t blame us for the repercussions.
1. Melted Snowman in a bottle
Why is a melted snowman the best gift? It’s festive, it’s funny and it’s useful. All that Christmas food is gonna make your friend thirsty, right? Guess who’s gonna be his BFF once you gift him a melted snowman? You, my friend. Also, image their surprise when they open the gift wrap and find… water.
2. Festive ‘drinks’
It’s cold outside, how about a little festive whisky/rum to keep your friends warm? Fe fi fo fum, they’ll love you gift, if your gift is rum!
3. Realistic Christmas card
Yes, it’s the time where everything is jolly and nice, but let’s face it- nobody wants you to shove your Christmas spirit down their throats at 5 am in the morning. This card says ‘yes, I love Christmas but if you sing carols at 5am I will not hesitate to murder you’ and that is pretty much perfect.
4. Christmassy toilet paper
Hands down, best Christmas gift ever. It has utility (duh!) plus every time your friend takes a dump, they’ll be thinking of you. If this isn’t friendship, what is?
Doesn’t it piss you off when you get gifts that require batteries but they are not included? Like ‘thanks for the burden you’ve put on me, friend. I’ve to go out and get batteries now.‘ Don’t be that friend. Be the friend who gifts batteries. Be the bestest friend ever.
6. Savage Christmas card
If your friend has been on Santa’s naughty list, they’ll probably see this one coming. But the card is pretty wholesome, isn’t it? A perfect gift for someone who likes a good laugh.
7. Snowman poop
Festive? Check. Funny? Check. Tasty? Check. What’s not to love about marshme..err, we mean Snowman Poop! Hand this out to your friends and you’ll officially be the coolest person on the block.
Merry Christmas, people!