15 things that prove that hypocrisy is basically our favourite pastime

Hypocrisy thy name is Indian

India is a proud nation. Growing up, you must have gotten that lecture boasting about our ancient advanced sciences or the rich cultural diversity that we harbour as though somehow the past should make us feel proud in the present. Our culture may be diverse but there is no harmony. We bicker and hate and kill and discriminate. And worst of it all, we pass it on to our kids. Yet, when the headlines speak of an Indian being attacked in some foreign country, we cry racism. And that’s our hypocrisy for you, something that eludes our classrooms, but still, lurks unrevealed behind the blind nationalism.

Although nobody likes to talk about it, we are all hypocrites. From our parents keeping us from doing the things they did when they were younger, to the continuing practice of female foeticide while we pray to Goddesses to bring prosperity to our lives, hypocrisy is laced into our existence.

Here are 15 things that prove India is a land of hypocrites before anything:

1. Talking about abolishing corruption but bribing away for the sake of convenience.

2. Telling our kids not to speak to strangers until we get them to marry one.

3. Being totally okay with guys having sex before marriage but a woman must remain “pure” until her wedding night.

4. Not allowing our boys to cry because, apparently, that’s a woman’s job.

5. Treating cows like Gods but mistreating all other animals on the streets. #OnlyCowLivesMatter?

6. Speaking against racism when Indians get harassed abroad but indulging in casual discrimination against people from different states.

7. Praying to several Goddesses but treating women like second-class citizens.

8. Cleaning our houses but trashing the streets.

9. Pissing, shitting is acceptable in public but PDA is a hard no.

10. Pretending to be proud of being Indians but being fascinated by everything western #PostColonialHangover

11. Never speaking of sex EVER but expecting babies instantly after marriage.

12. Dating several people is cool for guys but a girl gets slut-shamed for it.

13. Wearing western yet, less-revealing clothing, apparently, also makes a woman a slut.

(Photo Courtesy: Instagram/@brownpaperbagcomics)

14. Asking for gender equality, but refusing to let go of age-old sexist norms because you want to enjoy your privilege. 

15. Strengthening laws for protection of women against sexual harassment, but having no such legal provisions for men

(Note: Woman-on-man rape does not exist in the eyes of the law. In case of a man-on-man rape, a victim can only seek justice through Section 377, which has nothing to do with sexual assault)

Yes, you can lower your pitchforks now. Instead of pretending that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how any of us function, perhaps it would be best if we would acknowledge your flaws and try and better ourselves.

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