10 questions that crossed my mind while watching Gujarat election coverage

Here are ten questions that baffled me about Gujarat election coverage

1. What is this little kid from Gujarat dressed as Narendra Modi doing outside BJP headquarters in Delhi on a Monday?  This is not November 14 and isn’t he supposed to be in school? #padhegaIndiaTabhiBadhegaIndia.

2. Why are Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi performing dandiya on Aaj Tak. Isn’t it a couple dance?  Does Aaj Tak think Modi and Gandhi are lovers? Is there a secret message they want to give us? Should I stop watching this channel? Oh! Isn’t Modi’s cartoon version cute? No, Lalu dolls were way cuter. Am I an anti-national now?

3. Why does Arnab Goswami think he is sitting in the Election Headquarters. Isn’t the Election Commission’s office doing all the work?

4. Why did he use the adjective “beautiful” to describe the BJP’s victory margin in Gujarat? Is that even a legit way to describe any victory margin? He can learn a thing or two from Barkha Dutt.

5. If Sudhir Chaudhury were a Game of Thrones character, who would he be? Option A: Lord Varys, Option B: Little Finger, Option C: Jaime Lannister.

6. News X, what does Moditva mean? Does it even mean anything? Or, were they just trying to upstage Times Now’s hashtag – #ModiUnstoppable? and Zee News’ #SuperHeroModi

7. Why is News18 running this strange disclaimer, “we don’t fudge numbers”?

8. And why do they think they did something as heroic as rescuing the markets from tumbling?

9. Oh wait, there are parachutes, ships and seaplanes? Why do they keep asking “Vikas kaha hai”?

10. Do you feel sick and nauseated after watching this?