When it comes to Bollywood, there is no shortage of absolutely crappy movies. Our personal favorite genre in these crap-fests are the ones that are so bad, you can’t help but laugh at ’em.
If watched sober, these movies will make you question your belief in filmmaking, but after a few glasses of the poison of your choice, you’ll be thanking the filmmakers for creating these pieces of art. Making plans for a sleepover? We’ve got your entertainment covered:
Tum Mere Ho
Hands down, the best piece of cinema on the planet. What is supposed to be a romantic love-story of a snake charmer named Shiva and his love interest Paro, feels a two-hour MDMA fueled experience where you’ll ask a lot of questions but get no answers. Why is there a lady that makes out with snakes? Why is Aamir Khan being so creepy? We’ll never know.
Paro’s father is against their relationship but when Shiva saves Paro’s life from a deadly snake, her father’s like duhh he’s the one for my daughter. Sprinkled with not-so-subtle sexism, child marriage and horribly patriarchal undertones (there is a scene where an old man teaches young boys how to abduct woman because ‘taking them against their will impresses them’.)
This movie is the reason we still can’t sleep at night sometimes.
The number of ZzzZzzzZZs in the title are a hint towards how boring it is. The movie revolves around Himesh Reshammiya’s character who is one of the biggest rockstars in the world, can you imagine a funnier storyline? He begins to hallucinate (with such amazing acting skillz) he decides to take a break in Kenya where he falls for Kamini, an older woman. Basically, original Karz minus acting skills and good music. Also, ‘Tandoori Nights’.
Where do we even begin with this one? The star cast, the plot, the bad acting and the horrible jokes make for one amazing drunk movie night. The movie is about a bunch of cool kids that run into a ghost in college. Sohail slowly falls for this lady only to discover she died 22 years ago and then she (hilariously) kills them one by one. Sohail Khan is one of the cool kids in this movie. Need we say more?
What’s Your Rashee
You already know everything that you need to know about this movie- 1 Harman Baweja, 12 Priyanka Chopras, 0 script. The movie literally revolves around Harman meeting 12 girls of different rashees cuz he has to save his family from running into trouble and has to get married asap to inherit a fortune. Yeah, apparently that’s how marriage works.
This flick has everything- action, romance, comedy, wife-swapping and password hacking. Two couples randomly befriend each other on a cruise and are on a fasttrack to becoming instant BFFs. One drunken night and a lot of insanely weird plotting by one of the couples later, you begin to wish you too had money because clearly anyone can make films. Because by this point you’ve seen every movie genre possible, in one single movie. Only if Bobby Deol had taken control of the DJ console during the mehbooba mehbooba jig, this movie would’ve been a 10/10.
You don’t wanna miss Fardeen Khan’s debut in all his ‘wtf-is-acting-I’m-just-gonna-slowly-recite-my-dialogues’ glory. This movie is supposed to be a love story, but by the time you get to the ‘mujhe ye haseen dard de do‘ part, you’re already going to be drowning in your own tears of laughter. Sapna aka the ‘you wanna exercise’ lady is in love with Suraj aka Fardeen Khan but her father wants Sapna to get married to an industrialist named Vishal. A totally original plot, if you ask us. The rest of the movie revolves around how her father gangs up with Vishal to break their relationship, and a whole lotta ironically-hilarious dialogues.
Not to be confused with Sooryavansham, this is a movie bhai did before he became bhai and started creating meaningful cinema like Dabangg. This is supposed to be a “horror” film reincarnation but somewhere between Salman’s blonde wig, second hand Thor costumes and the fact that his superhero name is ‘Vicky’, this film is anything but scary. Also, there are multiple scenes where bhai just literally turns into VFX–
Ready to binge-watch? You’re welcome.