Are you an intellectual person who is too lazy to start his own company but smart enough to get things done? Toh perfect employee ho tum. Can you spend the entire day doing minimal work yet fool people into believing you’re working your ass off? Toh perfect employee ho tum. Let’s get a few things straight- to be an adarsh employee, you need to posses all the qualities in our list. Here goes:
Versatile
If you don’t indulge in gossip, why even join an office? Why don’t you just stay at home and be unproductive? Gossip, you must. Indulge in meaningless banter, you must. And post feeding everybody with their daily dose of gossip, you must be able to effortlessly mold yourself into a cushy little punching bag because you can’t ask boss ko gussa kyu aata hai, okay?!
(Tu boss ka) Hero
Hey, remember that amazing idea you came up with to increase the company’s sales? Yeah, you didn’t come up with that. Your boss did. Why? Because the boss is always right. Tu chup reh.
Part time Sidhu
Boss: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Get it? 7 ATE 9?
Adarsh employee: HAHAHAHAHAINCREMENTDEDEBHAIHAHAHAH
The only weekend you’re allowed to love is Weeknd
Normal employees: Thank God it’s Friday!
Adarsh employee: Mere Monday Tuesday aayenge.
No Social life
Wanna be an adarsh employee AND have a social life? LOL NO. You better reach work at 7 am (or 6 am because bagal mein hi toh rehta hai tu) and leave at 10 pm (or 11 pm because bagal mein hi toh rehta hai tu)
Immune to all diseases
Typhoid? It’s nothing. Crocin pi aur aaja office.
If the above statement seems absurd to you, you can’t be an adarsh employee. EVER.
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