Remember Hillary Clinton’s famous quote? “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.”
Now, is it just I or somebody else has also noticed how her quote trivialised the men losing their lives while making the women’s feelings the real issue? But why? Why do women get far more sympathy and attention for their problems while the men facing the same are often ignored? Why does everybody listen to a woman complaining but a man is not supposed to crib or cry because that will be a blot on his masculinity? Why do the issues related to men are routinely dismissed because those related to women are ‘more important’ and need to get tackled first?
A Facebook page titled Iyouthmag recently released a photo series of 6 pictures highlighting major discrimination that men face in their day to day life and we can’t help but agree with it.
Men are judged too
Don’t be surprised and don’t tell me that you haven’t ever sat with your girlfriends and gossipped about the size of their dick. Sounds harsh, right? Harsh but true. We have all done that at one point in time. But when was the last time you heard a man discriminating a woman on the basis of her vagina? Yeah, you can argue that they do talk about our breasts, but discrimination? No, I don’t think so.
Always the protector, never the protected
Yes, we all are hypocrites and when it comes to gender equality, our hypocrisy is on an all time high. We slapping men is totally fine because we are the weaker sex, isn’t it? But men slapping you back are abusive and deserve hell. However, here’s the catch: As per a report published in The Hindustan Times in October 2016, it was found in the 2004 National Family Health Survey that an estimated six million women had been violent towards their husbands. If this is expanded to relatives taking part in the abuse, approximately 30 million men faced domestic violence! Quite a large number, isn’t it? But how many of them were talked about or worse reported?
Why? Well, because of us. Because when a man complains about the violence, he is called sissy or the “less masculine one” and if he doesn’t, it goes unreported. And God forbids, if he hits back, all hell break loose. When will we end this hypocrisy in the name of gender equality?
No Fair Share
In October 2010, Supreme Court of India passed a judgment according to which long-term live-in relationships will be considered as marriage. The female spouse then can claim alimony under the Domestic Violence Act 2005 which uses the phrase “relationship in the nature of marriage”. However, what bothers me here is what if the woman breaks the marriage or relationship? Why is she even then eligible for the alimony money?
Alimony, otherwise known as spousal support or maintenance, is an ongoing payment by the higher-earning spouse to the lower-earning one and is applied to both the partners EQUALLY. However, it is still heavily weighted toward men paying women. The reason? Die-hard gender roles, old stereotypes, a bitter fight from the earning wives or the girlfriends who somewhere think that even though they break up, it’s the man’s responsibility to pay for them and of course, the macho pride of men itself. But isn’t that make women insistent on availing themselves of every asset they’re or can be entitled to? And then we call men needy!
The Sex Issue
This is something we all need to talk about. It’s high time we do. Sex has been used against men since time immemorial. Remember the damsel in distress who was used by the bad guy for sex and then left for somebody better? I always wondered if this damsel really didn’t enjoy the sex or that she didn’t want it? Because had that been the case, it would have been a crystal clear case of rape and not “being used for sex”. I mean, how do somebody use someone for sex when it’s consensual?
Also, why men wanting or demanding sex are the desperate perverts while women demanding the same pleasure are the liberated lots? And what is this whole deal about having sex on your terms? Isn’t it supposed to be a mutual exchange of pleasure? Then why do one have to dominate? Isn’t that gender equality?
It’s NOT a Man’s World
When was the last time you went to a bar which had boys’ night out where the boys were being served drinks for free? When was the last time you sat with your brother or friend or husband or even father and talked to them about their problems? Why do we expect men to be strong all the time? Why can’t we give them a shoulder to cry on? Why are we so insensitive towards men’s issues?
Gender Equality For ALL
I remember how the internet was filled with the video of Barack Obama holding the door for Michelle and how everybody criticised Donald Trump for not doing the same. I admit I was one of those people who shared the video with an “aww”. But why do we exactly expect men to hold the doors for us or hold our bags or for that matter give away everything they have to us? Isn’t that asking for too much? Do we admit that we are too weak to open our doors or hold our bags or be responsible for ourselves? Why burden somebody unnecessarily because somebody made this rule 100 years back?
It’s high time that we the women understand that if we want equality and respect, we need to give it back as well. Hypocrisy and double standard has never helped anyone and will not help this cause as well! It’s time we stop this “Mancrimination”!