What makes a great Indian TV soap? Great script, acting or visualization? Nope! Indian TV soaps are currently all about exaggerated fights, rebirth transformations and overly emotional everyday sequences. Indian TV soaps are like a superhero movie where everything is possible. Nobody dies, and even if they do people can still come back from the dead, anyone and everyone can be Sherlock and you can jump from story to story without thinking about whether it makes sense or not! Who watches such melodrama, you ask? Surprisingly, these shows attract insane amount of viewers. Oh well, TV is called the idiot box for a reason.

Today, let us walk you through the 10 things that happen in every Indian TV show ever:

1. Woman’s world – but not in a good way

Contrary to other professions, Indian TV soaps have 5 women to 1 man ratio. While we applaud the effort, it’s honestly not necessary to include female characters who are fighting constantly or dissing each other to gain the man’s attention.

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2. Superstitions

Diya bujh gaya is directly linked to the poor health of your pati. Okay, so two things –  First,  Is it rocket science that the diya will one-day lamp out?  But no, once the diya extinguishes, there’s something going to happen to your pati. Secondly, why no role reversal though? Are men only affected by the bad omens?

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3. The ever present makeup

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No surprises there. From the bebe/biji/baa to the youngest person, each and every woman of the house would go to bed loaded with jewellery and heavy makeup just to wake up exactly like that. They even have makeup on while sleeping. TV soaps, are you aware of the word ‘realistic’?

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Plus with that gold,  these women are giving Bappi Lehri run for his money.

4. Clear difference between protagonist and antagonist

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If only life was this black and white. But for the makers of TV soaps, there is only one dimension to one character. Good is good, bad is bad. Period. They don’t waste time working on the layers of character because there are other important stuff to do like resurrect 102-year-old baa, and turn a person into naagin. FTW!

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5. How to spot a villain

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A villain is always expected to dress in fashionable saris with black smoky eyes and big bindis while, the good girl is seen donning a traditional sari and conventional shades of makeup, oh and how can we forget the huge mangal sutra.

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6. Men know nothing

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Men are usually clueless about what is happening in their homes. On one hand, Indian Tv soaps exaggerate women’s character as pativrata sati savitri and at the same time show, all the important decisions of the house are taken by the women. Women fight, conspire, resolve, and their husbands have no clue about it until the climax.

7. Everybody is a businessman

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So, Indian TV soaps are targeting middle-class audience by depicting the lives of uber rich people? Like I said, men don’t have much work apart from being a giant honcho at some company and making important presentations.

8. Constantly remarrying is a-okay. For men

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While women are betrothed with so much ‘oh-I-am-an-Indian-naari’ values and depicted as the ‘perfect wife’, men as given the leverage to be as open-minded as possible. You know, it’s completely fine if you divorce your wife and marry her sister. No one will blame you, but definitely the ‘wife mein hi kuch kami hogi’ but then morality struck you and you divorce the sister and remarry the wife!

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Hail, the righteousness of the man.

9. Reactions times three

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TV soaps vindicate the saying that life happens to you when you are reacting to situations. And no, not just once but thrice. If you thought content is the king, think again because expressions rule the land of serials. To every situation, there are multiple shots involved and if it’s a thappad then don’t even bother asking.

10. Tales of immortality and the ridiculously huge family

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Great, if you are showing the values of Indian joint family but last time I checked, no joint family is like a full baraat of people. From great grandparents to grand parents to pota/poti, Indian tv soaps leave no stone unturned to show insanely huge families.

Agree to agree? Tell us in the comments section below